There are wars, violence in our cities, racism, conflict in our churches and families. We can all agree that we live in a world that is anything but kind. I find it so interesting that in Titus 2, Paul tells the younger pastor, Timothy, to teach the older women to encourage the younger women in kindness. He does not say love, joy, peace, or patience, but kindness. Could this be an area where the Lord knows we need a gentle reminder?

Kindness is part of the fruit of the spirit. It is a heart motive behind a good action. Colossians 3:12 tells us, “to put on kindness,” so we want to be intentional and active in pursuing this godlike quality.

Goal of Kindness

Micah 7:18 tells us that kindness is God’s delightful attitude. And Psalm 117:2 says, “His merciful kindness is great toward us.” What kindness God showed to us in sending his Son to die for our sins! The goal of kindness is to reflect our Savior’s kindness to an unkind world. 

David, a man after God’s own heart, reflected the kindness of God as he cared for Jonathan’s son, Mephibosheth, “don’t be afraid,” David said to him. “For I will surely show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan.” 2 Samuel 9:7 

We may have wrong motives in showing kindness, such as personal recognition or a works oriented approach. However, kindness with selfless motives flows from a compassionate heart that remembers Christ’s kindness shown to me. And by remembering that our performance will never earn His favor.

Growth in Kindness

Amongst those who know us best in our homes is the best lab for growing in kindness! The Proverbs 31 woman was the first kind to her own family before she reached out to the poor. If we are all honest, we are often kinder to strangers than those we love the most.  Kindness naturally occurs in the dating relationship when we put our best foot forward. But familiarity can often set in as the years pass, causing couples to be indifferent or even mean to each other. We show kindness to our husbands when we pray for them, honor them, serve them, respect them and limit the criticism we women are often too eager to dispense.

You may consider yourself a very efficient home manager, getting that “to do” list each day. But are we accomplishing the tasks with a kind heart? In mothering, we can so often be focused on all the essential responsibilities of raising our children that we may forget to model kindness to them. A task-oriented mentality can lead to an edge to our voice, being touchy or irritable, impatient or harsh. A woman’s demeanor truly does set the tone in the home. Do you want your children to remember most about you that you got the jobs done, or that you were a kind mommy to them?

Even when it is necessary to admonish another believer, we can do it in kindness with a gentle and loving heart. Author Nancy Demoss Wolgemuth talks about the most challenging people to extend kindness to-our enemies. It may be someone who rubs you the wrong way, like a coworker or a relative. Proverbs 21:21 states, “Whoever pursues righteousness and kindness will find life, righteousness, and honor.”

Put on Kindness

So who has God placed in your life to be kind to this week? It may just be that one child who challenges your sanctification! Kindness focuses on others’ needs. What can I do to bless them? I have a friend at our church, a young gal in her 20’s who has intentionally decided to show kindness to a young girl by being her foster parent. She has given up the attractions of this world to show kindness and God’s grace to a very challenging little one.

If God had not shown his kindness to us in sending his Son to die on the cross, we would still be his enemies, under His wrath, justly deserving eternal separation from Him. Need I say more to motivate each of us to show kindness to those He loves and created?

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

For a helpful resource, consider Law of Kindness by Mary Beeke.