Cancer. The C-word that no doubt has affected everyone’s life in one way or another. Whether personally fighting cancer or someone close to you. My husband and I have personally walked through this fight, and it was not for the faint of heart. By God’s amazing grace, John was cured during Covid in September 2020! I will never forget being at Stanford with John and waiting for that word – CURED! While I waited with my mother and father-in-law, the sobering reality of the days we live in began to hit me. The masks we were all wearing, the severe illnesses people were enduring, and the magnitude of sin were weighty on my heart. Then Psalm 103:1-5 came to mind,
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
John was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma in 2014, the year our son Jack was born. There were moments when the brain fog and nausea were so bad that the only thing that brought John comfort was Jack. I would place him in John’s arms and remind him that God gave him a son and he was going to watch him grow up.
The body of Christ truly shined brightly during these days. We were a part of a network of churches at the time, and when the word got out that John had cancer and would have 12 rounds of intense chemo, they all rallied. 13 different pastors came out and preached at our church; during the weeks he had chemo! It was incredible. The outpouring of love and generosity from those men and their church families was beyond anything we had ever experienced. Another day that stands out in my mind was when about 30 people from our church came over to help do yard work at your house. It is particularly humbling to receive such kindness, and I realized that the Lord was doing more with John sick in his chair than with him well. To God be the Glory!
Helpful tips when someone is walking through cancer treatment:
- Be mindful of the caregiver. Often, fatigue, tough strain, and stress can take a serious toll on the caregiver. Giving them a break and encouragement is so important.
- Bring the 10th meal. People tend to rally at the beginning of a trial, but the support can slow down over time, and that’s when those meals, cards, etc., can be even more beneficial.
- Chemo changes your body forever, and healing is a long process. It wasn’t until about a year after John was done with treatment that he had energy back. Continue to encourage and pray for the road to healing.
- Speaks words of life. Proverbs 12:25 states, “Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.” Prayer and words of life truly encouraged our hearts to press on.
- God has ordained the trial in the kid’s lives as well. God did such tremendous work in our kid’s hearts during this time. “Heaven for kids” is an excellent resource as we talked about sickness and loss. We also made a build-a-bear that John could take with him to all his appointments, and it had a recording of the kid’s voices saying, “We love you, Daddy, you can do it!” The kids were very involved. We made chemo cards that he could only read on chemo days.
- Buy them paper plates. The sweetest gift was from a family who bought us a Costco size amount of paper goods. Practical and so helpful.
- Do not say to someone, “What are your chances of survival?” or “My Aunt had that cancer, and she died.” Sometimes we want to try and relate to someone’s experience, but it ends up discouraging. The best advice is to hug them and pray for their healing and keep doing it.
- It is a blessing to see behind the chemo curtain. As hard as the trial was, seeing behind the curtain of suffering and into the lives of people was so eye-opening. It instilled greater compassion and thankfulness to the Lord for our salvation.
Greater is He Who is in You
I will never forget when a dear friend called us during a tough week of treatment. John and I got on our knees, and he was praying over us. It was one of the most powerful prayers of faith, courage, and strength!
A couple of things he said to us was that the enemy doesn’t fight fair. He hits below the belt, and he keeps hitting. But Greater is HE who is in YOU than he who is in the world! Supernatural strength and perseverance come from the Lord during these difficult seasons.
Now being on the other end of this trial and rejoicing over our healing is incredible! God has indeed done miraculous work in John’s life and all of our lives. God was faithful and answered unbelievable prayers. Cancer is not a road I would have chosen, but God had already written it. Psalm 139:16 states, “Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” God formed the days for us to fashion us into His likeness and grow us in His love.
Nothing is Impossible With God
God’s grace truly is astounding in these difficult circumstances. He taught me how to rejoice always, to truly rest in Him and His sovereign care over John and my children. He taught me that there is nothing impossible with God. It’s one thing to recite a verse; it’s another to live it and see God do it! The Great I AM goes with us in power, and we are never alone. Spurgeon stated, “I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages.” A dear friend encouraged me by writing a song to sing to the Lord, and the words are so powerful, and by God’s grace, I’m still singing it. I pray it’s an encouragement to you too!
Still I’ll Praise You
I can feel the rising waters
Surrounding me here in the dark
But I’m not alone, I sense Your presence
Upholding me; remind me who You are
You aren’t taken aback
You aren’t caught off guard; You already knew
So though I want a way around this
You’ve shown me the only way is through
I will stay and face the dark
If you’re the light, I’m headed to
I will kiss the waves that crash down
If they carry me to you
No matter what
You take me through
Still I’ll praise you
Verse 2:
You walked the path of suffering
You could have fled and made the pain go away
But You stayed and faced the agony
Because You knew it was the only way
Bridge:
One day you will wipe away each tear
And maybe you’ll show me the reasons why
But for now, I’m meant to stay right here
Oh, and make the most of this time
Oh, and make the most of this time
