“I didn’t think it would be like this….”
“God, I thought if I loved my husband the best way I knew how, You would make him love me too.”
“Lord, I keep praying and trying to honor You through my trial, why won’t You would take it away?”
Friends, have you ever had questions or thoughts like these? I certainly have. I have found myself, over the years, giving in to disappointment and discouragement when life doesn’t look like I thought it should, or relationships do not match up to my expectations. I have spoken to friends and women in my church, wilting in the grief of shattered expectations or broken relationships.
Our Compassionate God
I want to be clear about the fact that it is good and right to pour our souls out to our compassionate God who hears (1 Peter 3:12). The Psalms are full of men crying out and asking God, “Why?” In fact, in the span of six short verses, David asks God, “How long?” four times in Psalm 13. Our loving heavenly Father knows we are frail (Psalm 103:14) and that we will naturally have questions about things we don’t like or understand. We must not stay in the “whys” and “how longs,” however.
During one of these conversations with a friend, it hit me: God never promises some of the things we think He does. I know, I know…this is exceedingly obvious, but bear with me. Take my friend who is in a difficult marriage and thought that God would cause her husband to love her if she only did her part and loved him well. It seems reasonable to us but this is not a promise from the Lord. Likewise, for the precious woman who assumed God would take the trial away if she prayed enough, we could search the Scriptures and never find this promise.
As women who desire to love and honor our great God, we must recalibrate our thinking. We must know and live by what God promises to us instead of clinging to the uncertainty of circumstances. We have a Savior who, through His divine power, has granted to us all that we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3) and has blessed us with literally everything we need in order to please Him in every situation we find ourselves in (Ephesians 1:3)!
God, in His grace, allows difficulties in our lives to force our gaze to His unchanging, precious, and very great promises. These promises from God are sure and certain, and there is no doubt that what He promises He will bring to pass. For this reason, we must stand on God’s promises rather than the uncertainty of life in this world.
God’s Precious Promises
Here are some favorite promises that have brought encouragement to me over the years:
The most astounding promise of all is found all over the Bible but is very succinct in 1 John 2:25: “And this is the promise that He made to us—eternal life!” (Exclamation point mine because it is so incredible!) With all of the distress and pain we endure, we live forever with Jesus at the end of this life. This thought alone propels me to press on.
The second assurance that comforts and encourages my heart in all situations is that God is with me. Again, we can find this promise throughout the Scriptures, such as Psalm 23:4 and Matthew 28:20. Regardless of what I am walking through, God is a very present help to me.
“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1
Finally, and amazingly, God does not deal with us according to our sins or repay us according to our iniquities (Psalm 103:10). God has so much mercy on me, and His steadfast love is so great toward me that He allows me to continue to draw breath despite my constant sin toward Him. His promise in the gospel is that his Son covers our sin, and when we give proper weight to the fact, Jesus absorbed the wrath that should have been ours, the trials we face become more bearable because God’s favor rests on us.
Living Out His Promises
What about my friend who thought that loving her husband well meant that God would cause him to do the same? While God has not made that particular promise to her, He does guarantee that His grace is sufficient for her. Despite her discouragement, the Lord says that His power is made perfect in her weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9)! She can continue to love Him well despite her husband’s indifference because Christ’s power is at work in her.
How about the woman who was disappointed that God did not take away her trial even when she was trying to honor Him? A promise amid such hardship is that she has a faithful God who will not allow her to be tempted and tried beyond her ability. Our faithful God helps her endure it!
“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation, He will also provide the way of escape that you may be able to endure.” 1 Corinthians 10:13
Remember, dear ones, that our loving heavenly Father designs the difficulties we face in this life so that we lift our eyes to Him and cling tightly to what He has promised us in His Word.
How might we put this into practice? One practical suggestion may be to tape notecards around your home, such as on the bathroom mirrors or kitchen cupboards. On these cards, write out things that are true about God. For example, on one side of the notecard, write what you are struggling with (Lord, I thought you would have taken away this trial after praying and trusting You for so long). On the other side, search the Scriptures, ask trusted friends and/or mentors, and write a promise from God in His Word (for example, 1 Cor. 10:13 above). You could also carry the card with you everywhere. Keep it in your pocket. Pull it out when that particular thought crosses your mind, and then read and bask in the truth of God’s precious and very great promises.
Photo courtesy of Jenna DeRienzo Photography
